Oh My Fic, Oh My God!
by Ine-capa
Summary: (Taichi x Yamato warning)It all starts when a crazy evil Cody tries to kidnap our loved rockstar Yamato! No problem! Taichi is here to save the day!Giant oysters, free bungalows, legendary mystical magical weapons and MORE! -Complete-
1. Chapter One

Oh my fic, oh my god 

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Digimon characters named in this Fic etc etc etc. Read under your own risk!! May loose your sanity! And.. Enjoy!!

This is my first Fanfiction so please send your reviews and I'll be veeeeery happy!! And maybe write more!!!

Chapter 1 !!

Matt went around asking every person in the street if they had seen some Tai underwear when suddenly a giant oyster fell right from the sky above!!!!!!!!!!!!! Inside of it there was Cody. After removing the afro-particles which clenched to his clothes during the landing, he stepped in front of Matt and said:

-"Welcome to Codyland – the land of mystery and free summer bungalows"

-"¿Wha-?" – was about to answer Matt when Izzy jumped into scene whistling "Oh my gosh, you look so corny". He recognized Cody and chose to run away avoiding each and every bungalow in his way, instead of protecting Matt – Cody's hairstyle made him feel sick. SERIOUSLY.

-"Oh please don't retrieve my soul back to the deep and gloomy microwave oven of death!"- politely asked Matt, as he saw Cody approach him turning 180º every 2 steps. Then… Matt's chest began to glow… to glitter… to shine and gleam, to twinkle, to flash! To glimmer and shimmer!!!!! Sparkle and flicker!!!!! TO GLINT AND GLISTEN!!!!!!!!!! OH YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Uhum… uh.. ok, so… it was doin' that thing it does, and Matt's guardian guard appeared!!! That would be Tai!!!!!!! The first thing he did was smash against the gigantic oyster full-body for at least 3 or 4 times, to prove it's solidity.

-"Ok, heroically destroying his hidden secret base, I won't be, I fear… how you are, Matt?"

-"SaVe MeEeEe!" – replied his protected one. He began too look like an instant microwave dinner box already. Well, but only in the cute aspect.

I mean, yeah. Cody's hairstyle could be _that_ devastating!! The only way of stopping its crazy race towards success (that would be the 180º-every-2-steps race) was

1st: Using a human shield

2nd: Worshipping Ken for 36 minutes

3rd: Using the "Legendary ultimate weapon of light and goodness and shiny magical stuff" – call now!

4th: 1 litre of milk and mix

5th: Kissing the princess and being happily happy forever after and afterwards.

"Well, that sounds easy…" – thought then the reader of this fic, but let me tell you is harder than it seems! Not the human shield part, though. Sora and Mimi are always wanting to take part in fanfics, so, as we are so incredibly generous they'll have the LUCK of getting the foreground for themselves!!!

Foreground: Mimi and Sora tightly tied to each other, wide open eyes of terror – Background: Tai hides behind them as he approaches the camera – Behind the camera: Cody laughs of a joke the oyster told him

When Cody saw Tai behind those… two quickly shouted:

-"No fair!!! You actually 180º turn KNOW how to 180º turn stop me!!!!"

-"And do it I will! Ohohohoo!!! Now, after the human shields, lets see… takes out notes Ken worship…"

-"Oh, can I help you do that?" – said Matt.

-"Yeah, me too please?" – Davis added.

So they made their way together for the first 2 metres when Cody released his evil army of cursed wacky wheelchairs!!!!

-"My life is in great dangerrrrr" – informed Matt

-"Ass well as your hair and butt! Save you shall I!!!!" And so, Tai jumped over Cody, falling into the oyster, and getting caught as a completely dumbass moron.

-"Uuuhhmm… at least comfortable it feels…" Whatever fits you -and your big hair-. Now it was Davis turn to end with this madness!! So, he went and worshipped Ken for… wait…. Ok, please return next week when we'll –probably- be showing the next chapter…


	2. Next Chapter

Oh my fic, oh my god 

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Digimon characters named in this Fic etc etc etc. Read under your own risk!! May loose your sanity! And.. Enjoy!!

This is my first Fanfiction so please send your reviews and I'll be veeeeery happy!! And maybe write more!!!

Chapter 2 !!

-One week later-

Davis returns looking tired, sweaty, walking oddly and showing a totally relaxed expression

-"Where… were we?"

-"I'm over here…" Matt made the last thing he could do to protect himself from Cody while Davis was gone… something horrible, degradating, humiliating… SHAME!! Yeah! He rented a bungalow!!!! using the money which once belonged to Sora and Mimi (who were not exactly dead… only… sort of… "stuck/paralized/immovable" since they saw Cody's hairstyle). As soon as Matt stepped out the magic elevator and paid the rent, the battle was resumed.

-"Davis, you need the legendary weapon of light and goodness and shiny magical stuff to save me!!!"

-"You forgot "ultimate" and, anyway, why would I save _you_? I don't speak Yoda…"

-"Bu- but…"

-"No baby-crying please."

Cody: oO!

Oyster: oO!

-"What do you want in return?? I have money! I am blond! Just ask!!!!"

-"I – want – your – beautifully – constructed – peace – of – upper – (author goes out of ink)


	3. Chapter Four?

Oh my fic, oh my god 

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Digimon characters named in this Fic etc etc etc. Read under your own risk!! May loose your sanity! And.. Enjoy!!

This is my first Fanfiction so please send your reviews and I'll be veeeeery happy!! And maybe write more!!!

Chapter 4!! (No chapter 3)

After Davis' bruised cheek (and the rest of the poor thing he called "his body") conveniently moved out of the scene, and while Matt hopelessly tried to reach the ultimate weapon of light and goodness and shiny stuff from the candy formation it was stuck in, Ken appeared.

-"God bless him, it'll be easier to ask him to save my ass rather than bitchslapping this stupid candy rock – it may've worked with Davis but…- hey you!! Come save my rock star potential, will ya!!"

"Yesa! takes the ultimate weapon of light and goodness and shiny magical stuff (oh yeah, ControlC ControlV helps here!) Letsa go!!"

-"Uh Ken, you feeling well?"

-"I'm sory! I ate Mario for breakfast and.. mamma mía! Don't wanna remember-a…"

-"Hum ok…"

-"Butta thank you for asking anyway, oyster."

-"My pleasure."

And so the battle began!!! After adding a litre' milk and mixing, Ken killed Cody once and again, and again… and again… several times! It was horrible!! He wouldn't die!!

-"No! Because I'm not human! Actually, I'm a hairstyle who took control over a suppository! HAVE FEAR!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

-"oh… - said Ken – Then why did I need to use the ultimate weapon of light and goodness and shiny magical stuff if it wouldn't work?" – asked Ken.

-"What you must use is the power of the heart!" –replied the 0-800-1-HELP line guy.

-"I can see it now!! The real use of the ultimate weapon of light and goodness and shiny magical stuff!! Matt! Hold this! You must open that oyster and rescue Tai!!!"

-"Wah-?" – was about to ask Matt, but didn't.

-"Me? Save? Him? ME? You sure?"

-"Yeah, why not?"

-"Cause I'm the rock star..."

-"COME ON YOU SISSY GIRL!! MOVE YOUR FU (Author runs away after a truck full of Harry Potter forbidden stuff).


	4. Last chapter and epliogue

Oh my fic, oh my god 

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Digimon characters named in this Fic etc etc etc. Read under your own risk!! May loose your sanity! And.. Enjoy!!

This is my first Fanfiction so please send your reviews and I'll be veeeeery happy!! And maybe write more!!!

Next Chapter!!

Yeah, Ken's violet eye (and the rest that was left of him) went after Davis… So Matt took the ultimate weapon of light and goodness and shiny magical stuff and opened the oyster, from which popped Tai, but he was fully made of pearl!!! He looked like a white glowing glittering shining gleaming twinkling flashing glimmering shimmering sparkling flickering glinting glistening and really slippery prince!!!

OO Matt's eyes widened like tennis balls. Yeah, almost like his. His tennis balls.

-"Oh boy, do you look hot"

-"I'm glad you so think" – replied Tai and faced Cody, who has been all this time busy looking for his apparently missing/inexistent sexual organ. "Destroy you I shall!!!"

-"Wha-?" And so it happened. Cody was forced to evolve to his immediately upper stage, a nut, and the evil disappeared for ever!! Yay!! author kidnaps the oyster for her own villain purposes

Down in the base 

-"Thank you so much…"

-"Nevermind… protected you deserve to be… I mean-"

-"Shhh… you shut up and kiss me you idiot… don't you see the audience is leaving?"

And so the deep kiss put the end to this legend. But for how long…? We don't know… maybe another giant oyster falls in front of you someday and a crazy author-girl glomps you to death… MwahahahahHAHAHAHAHA Shido beware!!!!!!!!!!

-----------oOo-----------

-"Stop escaping from my hugs!!!TT Don't you see I have feelings?"

-"My fault to be slippery is noooot!!´ "

-"I'LL SHOW YOU SLI--- wait… that undersized bastard told me the bungalows were free!!!"

-----------oOo-----------


End file.
